I’ve transformed into a sunnier version of myself this year in spite of the on-going horrors of the Covid crisis, as well as I believe it’s down to the truth I’m booty shaking my method to turning 40 in November aka midlife (whoop, whoop). Its less of a dilemma here, more of a realisation I like my damn self as well as I want to shout about it.
Accumulating age as well as experience is making me feel happier than ever as well as I’m right here for it.
On reflection, so much has fallen into location this year: my work flow/ life balance, feeling like a quite great mum to my boys (FYI whatever takes time to nail including parenting), strengthening connections with my husband, household as well as friends, as well as an inner peace in understanding as well as completely respecting myself, which is the bedrock to all connections by the way, as well as leading a material life. Those Pinterest affirmations were right. You have to like yourself very first ladies!
Workwise, it only dawned on me the other day whilst chatting to my wonderful mum that I’d reached a large goal this year as well as a dream I’d chased for a while: a 2-3 day working week with consistent blocks of down-time. It’s not come simple nevertheless however after almost a decade of difficult graft right here (and not forgetting all the years before I started a blog, as a screenwriter as well as director) I’m running the ship the method I like it.
I now have the flexibility to style my week whilst still growing my business (thanks to the support of a little freelance team spanning a video editor, PA as well as VA I can delegate elements of my task too) as well as it feels flipping freeing let me tell you.
I do all the stuff I love: writing, filmmaking, the legal shizz as well as leave the video editing, arranging as well as admin to others.
I’ve come full circle, back to why I pivoted to working on the internet in the very first location when the inflexible film market failed me as a new mother.
In quest of balace as well as wanting to really see my infant as well as not online on set, I felt, as well as still feel lucky that a digital career which played to my strengths as well as worked around my child, fell into my lap just as the on the internet world exploded. A versatile as well as remote career from day dot, the last ten years have been character building as well as a bloody great trip to state the least.
Admittedly, blogging was an accidental career that came knocking a few weeks after I hit publish on November the 10th 2010.
The blog quickly grew into a part-time career then by the time Alexander, my second son, was born two years later, I was working flexibly however full time.
After a few years of balance, I did discover myself overworked as well as overwhelmed for a while, if I’m honest.
I commonly felt like I’d produced a monster I was not able to free myself from (particularly when I was commuting to London a number of times a week when we resided in Leeds as I juggled parenting, a book deal, blogging by day as well as two unwell relatives).
I distinctly felt however never stated out loud, that I’d ended up being a sufferer of my own success somehow. as well busy. as well in demand. as well tired.
I’m grateful of program for the (continued) rate of interest in my work from my followers as well as brands alike however there have been periods where I was drowning, determined to regain manage of my life free from the pressures that had arisen from sharing my life online.
Almost tens years on though, I’m back to working part time, blogging, vlogging as well as TV broadcasting, with the flexibility to be completely present for those I like whilst nurturing innovative pursuits (without expectation) I’d previously sidelined such as screenwriting as well as painting. I’ve likewise chosen up my French as well as Greek once again thanks to the app Duolingo I bought during lockdown.
Like I tell my kids, all of us requirement to feel tired as well as to time to experiment as well as try news things or return to old likes in order to feel happy. Taking a breath has meant honing in on what I want as well as putting value on my own needs.
More downtime has not only provided me peace of mind however it’s strengthened my connections as well as improved my work as as storyteller as well as I’m no longer rushing (this publish you’re reading right here is draft 4 for example).
I’m less stressed (bye urticaria as well as silent reflux) as well as far more material (and my good friends are noticing).
I’m driven by enthusiasm rather than a perceived set of goals I’d pressured myself to tick off.
My work no longer defines me, I leave that to my set of values.
I’m working smarter too, handling fewer jobs that are more lucractive as well as longer term meaning I can enjoy dedicated, undisturbed periods with my household as well as good friends (or just binge-watching five guys a Week!) rather than mopping up crumbs right here as well as there for myself, the last in the pecking order, fatuigued as well as resentful for it.
A former social network addict, I broke that spell a few years back as well as today, pop on as well as off my handles to upload as well as share my work whilst Jenni my fastidious PA, picks up my DMS.
This is genuine success I suppose, on my terms.
Success has never been about a silly monetary value my business may reach someday (vast amounts of money has never been a driver for me) nor has my sense of worth been defined by awards nods (however flattering) or perceived popularity (FYI my eldest is far from impressed with my whopping 47 followers on TikTok- bahaha).
Success has always been about building a meaningful life for my household as well as I.
I really like being a mum (it’s my favourite task of all) as well as my youngsters requirement me as much as I requirement them. They’ve seen a great deal of me throughout the years (I’ve barely missed a milestone) as well as this career has brought us excellent happiness be it new friendships, theatre trips, creative workshops with Oscar winners/ working with our hereos, free holidays as well as long term cars and truck loans as well as we’re grateful for it all…But now is the time to sit back more as well as enjoy what I’ve developed with blood, sweat as well as tears. ten years is when the magic happens.
As Jeff Bezos says, ‘All overnight success takes about 10 years’, as well as I reach a decade blogging on November the 10th.
….
The turning point from a manic to moderate workload came after I’d found a (thankfully benign) lump on my thyriod complied with by an acute op to eliminate it as well as a tumultous two year healing which impacted me both physically as well as emotionally.
The subsquent therapy I embarked on, affected every area of my life. It turned my understanding of myself on its head. I learnt to lastly like myself, to unlearn the negativity of the past as well as consistently exercise limits to protect as well as support myself.
As I hurtle towards the huge 40 (which doesn’t feel that huge after all), I’m positive this is the begin of the biggest chapter of my life. ‘Life begins at 40’ as they say!
I’m a altered lady already, happy in my skin as well as specific of who I am.
Experience, overcoming adversity as well as loss have collectively left their indellible marks on me (with the scars to prove it) building resilience, strength, growth as well as compassion. I’m proud of exactly how far I’ve come in that respect as well as what I stand for.
My priorities have altered together with my boundaries. I’ve ended up being comfortable in stating ‘no’ (I’m a completely recuperated former people pleaser) as well as similarly I discover it easier to state ‘yes’, taking higher dangers more boldly as well as feeling far less afraid of the results or what anyone may think.
I still like losing myself in my work (that will never change), in writing, reading, painting as well as discovering as before, however my aspiration has quietened down somewhat, or perhaps it’s the pressure I utilized to apply myself, that has. It’s funny, the more relaxed you are, the higher the doors that open! I am really chilled though as well as if no more doors do indeed open I’m happy as I am :)!
I no longer feel defined by my work nor restricted by it. I feel free to dance between jobs as well as interests, growing from failure without fear, completely conscious that is where the lessons lie.
I have nothing to prove. like me or not, it’s okay either method as I like me!
One of my finest friends, brilliant blog writer at Babes about town as well as author of recently released must-read book, Bringing Up Race: exactly how to raise a Kind kid in a Prejudiced World, stated this to me about this new stage in my life,
‘Many of us at midlife experience a process of shedding as well as reawakening. We let go of a great deal of dreams as well as goals however likewise false beliefs as well as expectations. It’s quite liberating as well as I always refer to it as the ‘give no f@cks 40s’. It’s likewise a strange time when you’re rediscovering who you truly are as well as what type of tradition you want to leave behind. I like what Maya Angelou stated to Oprah about legacy. That it’s not just about huge goals as well as achievements. To paraphrase she stated ‘your tradition is every life you touch. everybody who ever watched (your show) as well as was transferred to do something. It’s not one thing, it’s everything.’
Yes to that.
…I feel priviledged my blog is my business as well as I’m completely conscious that being an early adapter, put me in great stead however if you’re thinking about an on the internet career move, please understand that now is the perfect time to pivot as Covid has accelerated digitisation as well as automation is next.
Like me, you can work flexibly around your youngsters takingfull ownership over your task as well as life (and my new programs business The working Mother’s Academy with digital strategist Lucy Griffiths, can assist you if you want to make the leap.
Whether we’re watching The Goldbergs together here, baking/ burning flapjacks or trying to beat one one more at Dobble, our bonds are strengthening with everyday of this new chapter for me.
Ditto when it comes to my own parents whom I’m able to support more whether it’s ordering products on the internet for them or costs more high quality time together now they requirement me more.
The workplace, as we know, as as a whole, stops working to value parents as well as moms in particular, so the pressures as well as strains you’ll inevitably experience juggling parenting as well as parenting is not your fault, you are not failing, it’s the structures in location which make life unworkable. As journalist, Amy Westervelt explained with her famous quote, ‘We expect women to work like they don’t have children, as well as raise kids as if they don’t work’.
Well no more for me.
A digital business handed me a lifeline back in 2010 as well as now, a truly satisfying work/life with it.
I decline to jeopardize anymore, as well as this blog, right now, today, means I no longer have to.
The second edition of my book MUMBOSS is out now here: .
Buy my bestselling book in paperback or audio
My debut book is my guide to surviving as well as thriving at work as well as at house as well as offers insight into exactly how to produce a digital business or return to work with confidence.
Mumboss: The honest Mum’s guide to Surviving as well as Thriving at work as well as at house (UK 2nd Edition)
Available on Amazon or Audible
The working Mom: Your guide to Surviving as well as Thriving at work as well as at house (US/Canada Edition)
Available September 8th 2020. order now on Amazon
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